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Grieving: A Beginner's Guide, by Jerusha Hull McCormack
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From Publishers Weekly
Starred Review. Working from the theory that "it takes one to know one," McCormack—widowed while her children were still young—writes a clear-eyed account of the many emotions and situations a grieving person may encounter. By her own admission, this book is "less a consolatory piece than a tour guide," and what a guide it is. An Anglican layperson and visiting professor at Beijing University, McCormack writes straight from the heart in simple language infused with a spirituality that is never preachy or pushy. She covers so much ground in such a little book that the reader could devour it quickly in hours or spend weeks reading it slowly, savoring each bit of wisdom. People suffering from loss will especially appreciate the counterpoint she provides to all the well-meaning but insensitive "churchy" things Christians tend to say to people who are grieving ("it's God's will," or "it's all for the best"). But more importantly, McCormack includes a chapter of "Guidelines for Spirit Guardians," offering advice to those who accompany grieving people so they can be fully present and helpful. Anyone who is grieving or anyone who knows a grieving person will find hope and support in this small book. (Mar.) Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.
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Review
Your Rights as a Person in Griefo You have a right to remain silent.o You have a right to cry, anytime and anywhere.o You have a right to express you grief in ways that seem appropriate to you.o You have a right to talk about your dead spouse/child/sibling/parent/friend as often as you would wish and on whatever occasions you wish to do so.o You have a right to negotiate for time out from the usual schedules and obligations, so that you may honor your grief and heal.o You have a right to complete your grieving in your own time and in your own way, without being subject to the "schedules ' and expectations of others.,o You have a right to assert the centrality of the experience of grieving, within your own life and as it affects the lives of others. Jerusha Hull McCormack Health June 5, 2006Working from the theory that "it takes one to know one," McCormack - widowed while her children were still young-writes a clear-eyed account of the many emotions and situations a grieving person may encounter. She covers so much ground in such a little book that the reader could devour it quickly in hours or spend weeks reading it slowly, savoring each bit of wisdom. Anyone who is grieving or anyone who knows a grieving person will find hope and support in this small book. Publishers Weekly January 20, 2006
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Product details
Paperback: 148 pages
Publisher: Paraclete Press (March 1, 2006)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9781557254931
ISBN-13: 978-1557254931
ASIN: 1557254931
Product Dimensions:
5.4 x 0.3 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
22 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#188,809 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
After a deep loss, I read many of the books on grieving, Some were given to me, others I found myself. This was one of the best ones I read, and I highly recommend it. Never trite or falsely encouraging, this book gives the reader permission to grieve in their own way. The author said many things I needed to hear. Another thing I appreciated was the fact that this book seemed to have a lot of actual content about grief & coping. Many other books, I read them and felt they said basically nothing. There is a great deal in this book that goes beyond the surface.
When we lost an adult son in 2006, this books seemed to help the most. Grief is personal...but to someone new to grief, with no time to prepare, this book validated the feelings I was experiencing,and reassured me that I was not crazy...that others had felt the same. I found it useful, not preachy. It didn't tell you HOW to grieve, or make you feel as if you were doing it "wrong" if you didn't feel better in a year...but time does heal! and it was simply helpful to recognize my experiences in other people. I am a Christian,and my faith supported me through my loss. But this helped, and helped me talk to my husband and other children. I will give this book to others in need.
I lost my husband two months ago after 37 years together. I have not yet finished reading the book, but so far it has helped me so much. I am 72 years old and lost him to a rare form of lymphoma. I would recommend this book to anyone who has lost their spouse.
Bought this for a gift for a friend who is grieving, but as I began to read it I did not give it to her. I haven't finished it, but it just didn't seem to give me what I wanted or needed: however, maybe when it comes to losing a loved one there is no real comfort to be found from a book, I have read a few.
This is a good book for anyone who is grieving the loss of a loved one. It offers good advice and understanding. There are no guidelines or timelines for grief, nor is it the same for eveyone. I would recommend this book to anyone in this situation or aomeone who is close to someone who is grieving.
The Holy Spirit spoke to me in a bookstore about giving this book to my dad. He had recently lost his beloved wife, my stepmom, a few months before. I was in a used bookstore, shopping for other books, and my father was with me, but chose to wait out in the car. As I shopped, I wasn't at the moment thinking about my father. I was looking through books on a very high shelf. Suddenly, the Holy Spirit interrupted my thoughts and spoke to my heart, saying, "Look down and to your right - there is a book there your dad needs." I looked, and my eyes immediately fell on this book, which was face out - the only one in that section that was positioned like that. I bought it gave it to my dad in the car, who said, "Oh, no, I can't focus lately, and I've been given a few other books that really didn't help. Thanks anyway." He felt he was beyond being comforted. I ran a few more errands, and again he chose to stay in the car. I was gone for quite some time. When I returned, he was nearly in tears. He said, "Holly, this book is great. Already it is helping me." He read the entire book that day. Afterwards he said it helped him beyond words. Since then, both he and I have recommended the book to many other grieving people, all of whom have said it really made a difference. God is using Jerusha Hull McCormack greatly!
Three months after my husbands suicide I came across this book at the local library. Most of the books I've read on the subject of grief and being a widow all say the same things, or say what I already know and understand. The author of this book talks very plainly and frankly about her grief, and tries very hard to find a different perspective to view this whole horrible process from. I really appreciated the approach, as I too have tried to make sense and understand how to deal with the loss of my husband and what that means for my future. After reading it I thouht "finally a helpful book about grief". Hence the subject title for this review.
I first took this book out at my local library. After reading the first few pages, I knew I had to purchase it. This is the best, most practical guideline I have read, and I have read a half dozen books on grief. I will buy this book for all friends and family who go through the grief process.
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